paranymph

\PAIR-uh-nimf\

noun

1 : a friend going with a bridegroom to fetch home the bride in ancient Greece; also : the bridesmaid conducting the bride to the bridegroom

2 : a : best man; b : bridesmaid

Modern American PARANYMPHAL traditions/responsibilities:

- Attend/plan: engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, WEDDING, farewell brunch. Attendance also often expected at: dress shopping, cake tasting, facility rental, tradition research, stuffing of envelopes, and making of party favors.

- Offer emotional support to bride AT ALL COSTS

- Execute "last minute rescues," i.e.: straightening out a bunched veil or a drunk ex-girlfriend

- DO NOT upstage the bride by looking better/sexier/happier

According to suite101.com, there are also several activities a modern PARANYMPH can undertake to go above and beyond her call of duty:

- Create a PowerPoint presentation for the wedding speeches or bridal shower.

- Take photos of the whole process, from wedding dress shopping to cake tasting.

- Create a scrapbook of the wedding planning and celebrations. Include photos, momentos, receipts, ribbons, wedding favors, and so on.

- Send champagne, strawberries, and flowers to the bridal suite for the wedding night.

- Write a poem, paint a portrait, or make something special that celebrates the bride and groom. Use your unique talents and skills to create something special for the wedding couple.

I'm not sure what the equivalent of PowerPoint was in Ancient Greece—a scroll and a pointer?

Seriously, though—PowerPoint wedding presentations? We live in a sad, sad world sometimes.