omnium-gatherum

\ahm-nee-um-GA-thuh-rum\

noun

: a miscellaneous collection (as of things or persons)

Every time I have attempted to throw a party in my adult life, it has been somewhat of a disaster. The reason behind this, I believe, is that I have too many unconnected friends. Throwing a party is easy and fun if all your friends know each other. In Connecticut, parties are like this. But in other places I have lived, not so much.

On my 25th birthday I tried to have a housewarming/birthday party. Tim and I had just moved into a new apartment. I invited 10-12 random people, some from work, some from school, some from home, some friends of friends. We sat in a circle in the living room, desperately trying to converse. It was painful. Tim had to work late and, at some point, burst into the party carrying a new microwave. It was my birthday gift. This night was not very fun.

After I graduated RIC, I had a graduation/moving to Portland party. Like the party above, I invited an OMNIUM-GATHERUM of people from various origins. We made grilled pizzas. It was painfully boring. There were lots of mosquitos. People clustered in groups and wouldn't talk amongst each other.

I like having lots of different friends from different places. But I have come to realize that I am not the greatest common denominator. And I have decided that I will not attempt to throw larger-scale parties based on this reasoning.

I apologize to anyone who has to attend the hodge-podge that will be my funeral. Awkard....