spilth

\SPILTH\

noun

1 : the act or an instance of spilling

2 a : something spilled b : refuse, rubbish

I really, really want this word to be "spilleth," as in, "the milk spilleth over," which would be close to "my cup runneth over," which I just learned is actually a quote from the bible. Who knew! This is what happens to children like myself who don't grow up religious and don't know things like Christmas is the birthday of Jesus until they are fifteen.

So. SPILTH.

This word is confusing me a bit because I want it to be a verb, and it is not. I keep thinking things like, "I SPILTH my coffee," but this is not the case. It would be, "Watch out for the coffee SPILTH." What a weird word.

This reminds me of a story (surprised?). One winter day when I was unfortunately still living in Providence, Rhode Island, I was coming from a coffee date with my friend Robin. Walking back to our cars, I slipped on a patch of black ice while carrying a close-to-full cup of coffee. Somehow, I don't remember the logistics, I orchestrated my fall so that I totally fell hard on my ass, but the coffee stayed upright, and only a SPILTH the size of a tear drop splashed out of the lid. It wasn't that I even cared so much about the drink as I did the $2 that could potentially be wasted.

And herein lies one of the many differences between Portland and Providence: in Portland, I could go back into most shops, plead my case, and get a refill. Faced with this situation in Providence, most people would stare at you—blankly. If you are lucky, they might offer, "that sucks." Unless, of course, you are fortunate enough to know someone's friend. Then you might get some sympathy.