inchoate

\in-KOH-ut\

adjective

: being only partly in existence or operation;especially : imperfectly formed or formulated

A lovely phrase included in the etymology: the formlessness that often marks beginnings.

the formlessness that often marks beginnings

the way things seem to unfold into themselves with no actual start

trying to remember the first time you saw someone, knowing the first time in no way held the possibility of such significant future times

a beginning, often established only after the fact

a subjective concept existing only where we decide to place it

let's see, where do i start

an address and hour scribbled on a post-it

a dark and stormy night

the way in which a film breaks into a place that seems to pre-exist outside of those two hours in a dark theatre

knowing everything is a cycle and therefore has no beginning or end, but begins only when you realize you are in it

merging onto a highway, jumping into a river, waking up—suddenly and INCHOATELY becoming part of something that has always been there and will always be there, going, moving, unfolding, whether you are there or not.