gulosity

\goo-LAH-suh-tee\

noun

: excessive appetite : greediness

This morning a friend of mine posted a link on Facebook leading to an article in Advertising Age. The piece catalogues the current top ten "over-the-top" fast food menu offerings, which I will here relay:

1) Denny's Fried Cheese Melt

2) Friendly's Ultimate Grilled Cheese Burger Melt

3) KFC's Double Down

4) Friendly's Mac and Cheese Quesadilla

5) Hardee's Loaded Biscuits 'N' Gravy

6) Burger King Ultimate Breakfast Platter

7) Sonic's Tex Mex Footlong Quarter Pound Coney

8) Carl's Junior Footlong Cheeseburger

9) Sonic's Holiday Spiced Sugar Cookie Blast

10) Hardee's Double Sausage Egg 'N' Cheese Biscuit

These types of "list" articles are fairly common. The literates love to gawk at the GULOSITY of their junk-food-eating comrades. I mean, I'm admittedly part of the former group. Oh my GOD! I think. How could anyone EAT that?!? Of course, I am a recovering glutton. I spent much of my childhood with half a forearm buried in a can of Pringles or a bag of Doritos.

I think all of us reading these articles are feeling two things: disgust and envy. Part of me wishes I could divulge and not care. Although, I would probably die a slow death if I ate anything on the above menu; my binge of choice would probably include pizza or hot fudge sundaes. Maybe fried dough. People who allow themselves to eat this crap and grow larger every year are living a dream we will never live, just as we skinny and judgmental readers (like myself) are living a different dream. It all comes down to priorities.

And sin—gluttony or vanity. Spin the wheel.