thew

\THOO\

noun

1 a : muscular power or development b : strength, vitality

2 : muscle, sinew — usually used in plural

during interviews, one is always asked about strengths and weaknesses. i understand this to be a question in essence of humility, in which i am expected to frame strengths and weaknesses as one in the same, i.e. being an overachiever is at once a strength in productivity and a weakness in self-worth. an assessment on one's own THEWS and vulnerabilities is a test of sincerity in character, a balance in self-judgment on the scale between deprecation and aggrandizement.

i have trouble openly recognizing my THEWS without feeling like a cocky bastard. i am often plagued by an overwhelming responsibility toward modesty, feeling as if declaration of my achievements will taint my character. the sort of uninhibited pride that accompanies said declaration feels dangerous; the higher i raise myself, the farther i am apt to fall. and there is nothing like pride to totally devalue the sincerity of self endowment.

i need to find the happy medium—the ability to toot my own horn without having to literally utilize that disclaimer (not to toot my own horn, but...). the reality is that i know i'm pretty awesome. but part of that awesomeness is letting others figure it out without having to shove it down their throats.

i still think that i fall too hard on the side of modest, though, and i need to learn to acknowledge my—

i'm sorry. i need to stop there. this blog has been interrupted by a phone call. brody calls to ask if we can do the post-parting exchange of belongings.

i just keep looking at these things, and they are like loose ends. i don't want any loose ends.

i don't want any loose ends either, i suppose. so i drop everything—this blog, my THEWS, my sick morning in bed, any semblance of tact—to be humbled. my greatest weakness and my greatest strength.