vulnerary

\VUL-nuh-rair-ee\

adjective

: used for or useful in healing wounds

i am currently nursing a break-up. over a month in, i feel, although i somehow hate to admit it, better. something i always forget about the horrible disillusionment of break-ups is that there is no way to speed up the process. and there is also, at times, nothing that will make you feel better. everything, EVERYTHING, reminds you of the absent person, even if it had absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. there is no way to make these thoughts go away. they simply fade, disappearing eventually into the bank of forgotten devastations.

as with any wound, i search desperately for a VULNERARY aide to subdue the suffering—an ice pack, vicks vapor rub, my grandmother used to yell for a glass of brandy in the night when her throat was congested (my older brothers, children at the time, worried terribly she was an alcoholic). this is a bit more complicated, harder to alleviate. school is a grand distraction, but it only allows me to pause my thoughts. friends offer some kind of solace, but i am tempted to get analytical; i begin ripping the issue apart because i have a willing ear to listen. a friend is just a means to vocalize what is normally an internal dialogue.

what i need is wisdom. not the wisdom that comes from friends, who will, in most cases, just unquestioningly tolerate my analytical rants, but the wisdom of objectivity. if someone could bottle this, run it by the FDA, and get it on the shelf at walgreens i would be there waiting with my debit card in hand. to my disadvantage, this is not the case.

as is the case with almost everything that sucks, i simply need to wait.